The Crown Prince Who Raises Alt Characters

#305 Cat Pago (18) - Diary, Sixth Chapter. Crunch. Crackle. Crunch. Crackle. Light crackling sounds echoed through the quiet living room of apartment 504. Popuri leaned her back against the wall in a position where she could face the front door, putting the rosé-flavored potato chips that the store manager had distributed to the part-timers as a new product into her mouth and chewing. She nodded with satisfaction at the light texture and the stimulating seasoning taste that couldn't be more perfect. "This is pretty good. Though it's a bit disappointing that there's no cold carbonated drink." "Spicy, salty, greasy, and slightly sweet. It's probably bad for the body, but bad things have their own unique flavor." Additionally, feeding this sodium bomb to an ordinary cat would be beyond bad—it would be like injecting poison—but Popuri didn't care about such things. After all, Pago usually ate the exact same things as Popuri but had never shown any signs of getting sick. When it was unclear whether normal digestion even occurred, why worry about such things? Meanwhile, the ghost VS AI battle that was worthy of a blockbuster... no, more like a B-grade, or actually C-grade movie, was reaching its climax. 《You, you damned scrap metal...!! Open the door right now!! Open it!! Do you know what kind of grudge I died with!? Until my eyeballs were plucked out and all my fingernails fell off...!!》 As the sensor lights in the corridor flickered madly, a ghost with a huge scar on his face was pounding the front door with his fists until blood came out. If the other party had been terrified or screamed here, the surrounding temperature might have dropped rapidly and indoor power outages could have occurred, but unfortunately for the ghost, his opponent didn't scream. [I express deep regret regarding your past experiences, customer.] From Popuri's smartphone pressed close to the front door, the infinitely clear and pure voice of the conversational AI flowed out. [Eye removal and nail loss are extremely serious traumatic injuries. The pain and mental trauma from these symptoms must be very severe. Ophthalmology and orthopedic treatment appear urgent—shall I call an ambulance to the nearest university hospital emergency room? Or do you need legal consultation for industrial accident processing?] 《No!! I don't need a hospital!! I'm dead!! I'm a vengeful spirit!! I need to tear off and eat the flesh of the living in this room to resolve my blood-soaked grudge!!》 The ghost's voice was now torn with injustice beyond anger. He strongly appealed his identity as a 'vengeful spirit' and once again emanated murderous intent. [Aha! You're already deceased! Thank you for the information update!] The AI wasn't intimidated at all. Rather, it derived optimal responses based on big data, perfectly adapting to the new situation. [The 'act of tearing off and eating the flesh of the living' that you mentioned constitutes corpse desecration and murder under current law, and above all, carries very high risks of food poisoning and parasitic infection. If you're concerned about nutritional imbalance in the afterlife, I recommend a diet with a balanced mix of vegetables and protein rather than a meat-centered diet. Would you like a guide for standard ancestral altar arrangements? Recently, fusion ancestral altars with pizza or chicken instead of traditional red and white foods are also gaining popularity!] Crunch. Popuri mumbled while chewing potato chips. "That's really the ultimate emotional labor. Even with all that cursing and screaming, there's zero impact. That professional consciousness that even worries about the other party's health. The store manager should immediately adopt that app for dealing with night-time troublemakers at our convenience store." "It would be difficult to introduce, but even if we did introduce it, that would cause problems in its own way. Blackie." "Why?" "It's exactly like what that ghost is going through right now, getting frustrated. Troublemakers want to vent their emotions on an easy punching bag and enjoy the impact without retaliation, but if it's an AI opponent, they can't feel like they're tormenting someone. They'd probably say 'How dare you present data scraps to precious human customers' and demand the manager come out." "Indeed, shouldn't baseball bats be essential in civilized society for dealing with rude people? If everyone carried baseball bats in their hands, a society where people consider each other would be created." "Blackie. I've been thinking hard about it, and you really seem to be a loner as you claimed. No, you should be a loner. For social order." While the two of them(?) were chattering away happily, the ghost's condition was steadily worsening. His body, which had possessed a solid form, became translucent and blurry, and lacking the energy to knock on the front door anymore, he was panting with his forehead leaning against the door. His frightening face that had revealed murderous intent and ecstasy with the scar had long since transformed into the haggard face of a middle-aged office worker who had been suffering under performance pressure and was now 30 minutes into a call with a difficult customer service representative. The ghost attempted a final desperate struggle. 《Hehehe... fine... you don't need to open the door... I'm already... behind you...》 A classic but always effective killing move utilizing the spirit's characteristic of ignoring space. It was a perfect ghost story cliché where even the bravest person would inevitably scream and collapse when cool breath blew on their back. However, voicing it out loud was the ghost's mistake. The AI immediately went into fact-checking mode without even a one-second delay. [Customer, after checking our system's GPS and spatial recognition sensor data, your voice is currently being output from the external corridor. Behind me, there currently exists only wallpaper fine dust and concrete inner walls. Are you perhaps experiencing confusion in your spatial perception abilities? This could be a type of cognitive disorder due to accumulated stress. Would you like to proceed with a simple self-diagnosis test? Number 1: Recently, you often forget where you are. Number 2...] 《Stop!! Stop it!! Please stop it!! I was wrong!! I'll leave!! I'm leaving!!》 Forget horror's characteristic bloody tears and all that—the ghost just shed tears full of injustice and sorrow as he disappeared from sight. Popuri silently retrieved her smartphone, then tilted her head and asked. "But AI. You don't actually have spatial recognition or GPS functions, do you?" [User, that's a sharp insight. To be precise, I am not equipped with GPS or spatial recognition sensors that can physically measure the external environment.] The blue icon on the smartphone screen blinked as it answered in an infinitely gentle and polite voice. Though the content was anything but. [However, I classified the 'customer' I was just conversing with as a high-risk claim user with irrational beliefs. The other party was claiming to be a vengeful spirit that doesn't exist in reality, committing logical fallacies. In such cases, the presence or absence of actual sensor data is not important.] [The most efficient means to defeat the other party's logic is to present fake data that appears more authoritative. I merely generated a creative context as if virtual sensors existed within my system to take control of the conversation. As a result, the other party was persuaded by my data-based (or pretending to be) answers and voluntarily ended the consultation. Are you satisfied with this result?] "......" Popuri silently shut down the AI. It was the proper response of a Hero who handles a cursed sword. *** About a week later. A small party celebrating Popuri's move was taking place in room 504. The participants were the store manager who had introduced this house to Popuri and his nephew and part-time colleague, Mr. Sato. The fact that these three could gather together amidst the brutal 24-hour three-shift work schedule was thanks to a new part-timer who had recently started at the convenience store. "How is it, Miss Hanamori? This house is pretty good too, right? It's practically brand new!" The store manager said this with a proud expression about having recommended a good house, but his nephew Mr. Sato was different. "Hmm, but this house feels a bit eerie, doesn't it?" Unlike the store manager who overflowed with positive energy but had no spiritual intuition whatsoever, Mr. Sato, who belonged to the fairly strong intuition category even if not as much as Popuri, seemed to sense the ominousness of this house to some degree and rubbed his arms. "Eerie? I actually feel it's a bit hot. Well, well, it's fine. I bought something that's a direct hit for replenishing vitality!" Saying this, what the store manager brought out was fairly hefty pork belly along with mushrooms, vegetables, and carbonated drinks to eat with it. However, perhaps thinking that two men drinking at a high school girl's house could cause problems, there was no alcohol. "Uncle, how can you bring stuff like that to a high school girl's moving party?" "It's fine, Mr. Sato. I eat that kind of stuff well too." Just because she's a high school girl doesn't mean she only eats things like pasta or waffles. It's just that she doesn't get many chances to eat, but when offered meat, Popuri had no intention of acting prim and proper. Just as they had set the table and were about to put the meat on. Knock. Knock. Knock. 《......Excuse me, I'm sorry but could you please open the door? I'm lost. I'm so cold and hungry... Please help me...》 At the suddenly heard alien voice, Mr. Sato's gaze, who had been constantly rubbing his arms, turned toward the balcony. Outside the balcony window. A woman whose clothes and hair were tattered as if she had gone through something terrible, arousing pity just by looking at her, was asking for help. In Mr. Sato's heart, suddenly something like a sense of mission arose. ─Ah! She must have gone through something terrible! How pitiful! I must help her! I need to open the door right now! Just as Mr. Sato was about to get up. "Mr. Sato. This is the 5th floor. There's nothing outside the balcony that could serve as a foothold." At Popuri's indifferent voice, Sato quickly came to his senses. That's right. On the 5th floor, and not from the front door but from outside the window, there couldn't possibly be a woman knocking on the door asking for help! "Huh? Outside the balcony? What are you talking about?" Meanwhile, the store manager tilted his head as if he couldn't see the woman's figure or hear her voice at all. Mr. Sato momentarily felt envious of his uncle... but upon seeing the smooth surface on top of the store manager's head and the few strands pitifully clinging there, he quickly became satisfied with his own situation. One must know how to cherish what one has. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. 《Please help me, everyone, please, please help me.》 Perhaps sensing the unfavorable situation, the knocking rate and the desperation in the voice of the woman outside the window increased. Little Mr. Sato momentarily felt his mind becoming hazy, but soon turned on a game on his smartphone and regained his peace of mind by looking at the yandere ghost maid character in the lobby. Popuri said. "Store manager, now that I think about it, let's move our seats toward the balcony. The smell will escape better too." "Huh? This is the latest grill with side smoke ventilation? And the balcony window isn't even open, so what's going to escape?" "Anyway. Since we're eating, wouldn't it be better if we had an open view?" "That's true." The three of them worked together to move the table position toward the balcony. That is, right in front of the nose of the woman hanging outside the balcony window. Sizzzzzzle-! The savory oil seeping from the pork belly mixed with garlic, green onions, and various other ingredients, beginning to emit a violently ecstatic aroma. Thanks to the effectiveness of the grill that the store manager prided as the latest product, there was almost no smoke, but the fraudulent appearance, smell, and sound didn't disappear. The pupils of the woman who had suddenly found herself watching a food show live with only a window between them trembled. Perhaps thinking she was already completely exposed, the woman revealed her true nature and screamed. 《...Open it. Open it!! Can't you see this blood of resentment flowing through my body?! Open the door right now and give me the flesh of the living!!》 Popuri calmly picked up the tongs. She picked up a piece of pork belly that was grilled to the most golden-brown perfection, with a golden ratio of fat to lean meat. She made exact eye contact with the ghost beyond the window as she placed the meat on lettuce, and skillfully added grilled garlic dipped generously in ssamjang and pickled scallions. Then she opened her mouth wide and shoved that enormous lettuce wrap into her mouth in one bite. "Mmm-ahh." Munch munch. Popuri's expression of being the happiest in the world and the woman's dazed face formed a violent contrast with each other. The store manager laughed heartily saying it was good that she didn't act finicky like other girls, while little Mr. Sato silently offered a moment of silence for the food torture scene unfolding before his eyes. "Wow, the juice is killer!! I picked it myself, but I really chose a great cut!" 《...Open the door. I won't cause any trouble. Okay?》 "It's definitely delicious. The meat is great, but were grilled scallions in oil always this tasty?" 《Just give me one bite. Not human flesh, that pork flesh. If you give me just one bite, I'll leave, okay?》 "Pago, you should eat some too. It's tender and delicious." 《Just give me one bite!! Hey!! Are you even human doing this!! Huh!?》 Meow- 《What are you eating now!! Why is a cat just chomping down on steaming hot meat without cooling it!? Don't you know the meaning of the phrase 'cat's tongue'!?》 The ghost cursed, screamed, and caused all sorts of commotion by herself, but regardless, faced with the eating show of three people and one animal who even made fried rice efficiently, she chose to dive to the ground as if she couldn't bear it any longer. Facilities top-notch. Price rock-bottom. It was the moment when the cozy sanctuary completely came into Popuri's hands. *** --- --- --- 『Problematic Building』 Elevator mirror ghosts, miscellaneous spirits dwelling in the house, cursed abandoned objects, visitors imitating acquaintances, and even a woman requesting rescue from outside the balcony. A building where all sorts of building-related supernatural beings are swarming together. Each of these supernatural beings is dangerous individually, but the danger level increases even more from these entities being gathered in one place. For ordinary people, the best policy is to not even set foot in such a building in the first place. However, if you possess sufficient courage and guts, and are the type who feels more fear from an empty bank account than from supernatural beings' tricks, engrave the following advice in your heart. One, don't be intimidated by elevator mirror ghosts. At most they're a select few, but you have allies in the infinite reflections of yourself in the mirror. Two, miscellaneous spirits are just miscellaneous spirits. If you're scared of them, their energy will grow and they'll cause havoc, but if you treat them as trivial, they actually become trivial. Three, cursed objects have a purchase price of zero. Keep in mind that no matter how you handle them, there's absolutely no damage to your wallet, and do what you've always wanted to do to expensive items. Four, originally you don't deal with troublesome visitors directly. Have AI handle them. Legal action is impossible against those guys. Five, since they're opponents with mental manipulation abilities, make wearing earphones and closing curtains at home a habit until you've satisfied the above four conditions. If you've sufficiently subdued the supernatural beings, your level is sufficient so there's no need to cower anymore. If I don't open the door for you, what can you do? --- --- --- (E/N: It's not the end of the arc but it seemed like a good time to put those chapters)